People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women. 
- Unknown
Income tax returns: the most imaginative fiction written today. 
- Herman Wouk
Death and taxes may be certain, but we don't have to die every year. 
- Unknown
The tax which will be paid for education is not more than the thousand part of what will be paid if we leave the people in ignorance. 
- Thomas Jefferson
The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes - naturally, nobody wants to live any other way. 
- Judith Martin
The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing. 
- Jean Baptiste Colbert
It used to be that death and taxes alone were inevitable. Now there's shipping and handling. 
- Bert Murray
There's nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won't cure. 
- Dan Bennett 
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut save you 30 cents? 
- Peg Bracken 
Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed
- Art Buckwald 
There is a difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist -- the taxidermist leaves the hide. 
- Mortimer Caplan 
The trouble with an income-tax reduction is that it will stimulate business just enough to put everybody in a higher tax bracket. 
- Harold Coffin 
The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest possible amount of feathers with the smallest possible amount of hissing. 
- Jean B. Colbert 
If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation. 
- Farmer's Almanac 
Internal Revenue Service: The world's most successful mail-order business. 
- Bob Goddard 
I wouldn't mind paying taxes -- if I knew they were going to a friendly country. 
- Dick Gregory 
The United States is the only country where it takes more brains to figure your tax than to earn the money to pay it. 
- Edward J. Gurney 
Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax
- Charles F. Kettering 
He who builds a better mousetrap these days runs into material shortages, patent-infringement suits, work stoppages, collusive bidding, discount discrimination -- and taxes
- H.E. Martz 
Death and taxes and childbirth. There's never any convenient time for any of them. 
- Margaret Mitchell [Gone With The Wind]
Income Tax has made more liars out of the American people than Golf. 
- Will Rogers 
I make a fortune from criticizing the policy of the government, and then hand it over to the government in taxes to keep it going. 
- George Bernard Shaw 
When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin. 
- Mae West 
Indoors or out, no one relaxes 
In March, that month of wind and taxes
The wind will presently disappear, 
The taxes last us all the year. 



- Ogden Nash 

There's only one kind of tax that would please everybody -- one that nobody but the other guy has to pay. 
- Earl Wilson 
I didn't see why the schoolmaster should be taxed to support the priest, and not the priest the schoolmaster. 
- Henry D. Thoreau 
The chief deduction most people make from their income tax is that government costs too darned much. 
- Walt Streightiff 
The nation ought to have a tax system which looks like someone designed it on purpose. 
- William E. Simon 
When everybody has got money they cut taxes, and when they're broke they raise 'em. That's statesmanship of the highest order. 
- Will Rogers 
Nuclear physics is much easier than tax law. It's rational and always works the same way. 
- Jerold Rochwald
Optimist: Someone who sets aside two hours to do his income tax return.

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