A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
"Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air."
Jack Benny played Mendelsson last night. Mendelsson lost.
"I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either."