The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible."

One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is the assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind.

"Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living."

"Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left."

"A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table."