Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things."

"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet."

"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?"

My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work . . . I want to achieve it through not dying.