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INVENTOR, n. -- A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization."
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"ADMIRATION, n. -- Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves."
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"PLAN, v.t. To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result."
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"Wit, n. -- The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out."
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"PATIENCE, n. -- A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue."
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