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My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at forty-five. Do you get the feeling God is playing a practical joke?
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"To attract men, I wear a perfume called ``New Car Interior.''"
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Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
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"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
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