America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing."

"Coolidge is a better example of evolution than either Bryan or Darrow, for he knows when not to talk, which is the biggest asset the monkey possesses over the human."

"Alexander Hamilton originated the put and take system in our national treasury: the taxpayers put it in, and the politicians take it out."

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and their politicians as jokes.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.