It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells . . . to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin."

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.

"The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch."

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base."

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.