The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

"What a man calls his "conscience" is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love."

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

"Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man."

"When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last."